


Once We Were Home

by elem (elem44)



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-27
Updated: 2018-01-27
Packaged: 2019-03-09 22:15:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13490901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elem44/pseuds/elem
Summary: Life is not how they imagined it to be back on Earth. Kathryn is missing and the crew is scattered. How can this be fixed?





	Once We Were Home

She sat staring out the window of her Starfleet quarters. The small window afforded a view of some of the less attractive buildings on campus. The debriefings had taken months. In that time she’d been sequestered in a one bedroom apartment and forbidden to see or contact anyone from her ship or home. Her days consisted of hours of questioning by numerous faceless bureaucrats asking for the same information over and over again. She’d not even seen her mother or sister yet. She wasn’t worried for herself so much, but for her crew, especially the ex maquis. She hadn’t heard of their fate. She’d gotten them home, but now she was realizing, somewhat belatedly, that maybe it wasn’t where she wanted to be.

Seven years away from earth had led her to romanticise the memories of her life in the Alpha Quadrant. She’d forgotten about the rigidity and draconian ways of Starfleet and the Federation Council. Their incessant questioning was worrying. She knew they were looking for something but she couldn’t for the life of her fathom what it was. The questions she was being asked often seemed unrelated to her time in the Delta Quadrant. Maybe she was confused; her mind did tend to go off on tangents more and more. Loneliness and isolation were taking their toll and Kathryn had a feeling her sanity was up for grabs.

She was more than willing to be the scape goat if one was needed, as long as she could be assured of the wellbeing of her crew. She was the last person to deny that on occasions she played a little fast and loose with the prime directive, but circumstances were different in the DQ. She just wished they would get on with it; this life in limbo was a nightmare.

After three months alone she was well past depressed. That had resolved weeks ago and she was now at the point of not caring at all. As she stared out the window her focus changed and she could see her face reflected against the darkening sky. Funny, it didn’t really look like her. With her sunken eyes and hollow cheeks, she looked gaunt, almost ghost-like. Maybe it was the fact that she was not eating very much, if at all, and as far as she knew coffee was not considered a food group. Oh well, it was one way to end the tedium. If she faded away to nothing then at least they couldn’t ask any more stupid questions.

Kathryn sat back in her chair and took a sip of coffee, cup number six or was it seven for the day. Seven. There was a name she didn’t want to think about right now. Seven and Chakotay. An unseen hand squeezed her heart, and the lump which formed in her throat made it difficult to swallow. Seven and Chakotay. Seven and Chakotay. It didn’t help. Saying it over and over again in her head, she still couldn’t comprehend it. They’d left together the day after Voyager’s arrival, a cursory goodbye and ‘it was a pleasure working with you, hope to see you soon’, and they were gone, and with them went her will to fight.

Did Seven do it on purpose? Was she completely oblivious to Kathryn’s feelings in regard to Chakotay? Everyone else on board seemed to be aware that he was ‘hands off’, but in typical Seven style she just came barrelling through at transwarp speed, assimilating everything in her path. What was the saying? You can take the drone out of the Borg but you can’t take the Borg out of the drone. Seven was obviously not the only person unaware of Kathryn’s feelings for her first officer. So, it seems, was the man in question. She only had herself to blame. Idiot, she chided herself, what made her think he would wait all those years without so much as a word of encouragement. Fool. Kathryn grunted and then sighed. Well I hope they’re happy. Crap. Happy? I hope they’re miserable and feeling as guilty as hell. She gave a disgusted snort and shook her head. Time to think of something else.

Sipping her coffee again, she wondered if anyone was curious as to her whereabouts. She was sure Starfleet had released some concocted story to the press about her needing time to readjust to Alpha Quadrant life and as captain she was subject to many more hours of debriefing. She’d tried many times to see Admiral Paris. If only she could talk to him, she knew he would be able to tell her what the hell was going on. He was constantly unavailable. Kathryn had the sneaking suspicion that he didn’t want to know anything about her. ‘Oh well, Kathryn’, she thought, ‘just add him to the list of people who don’t give a damn.’ All those years of devoting herself to the ship and crew and sacrificing her personal life for what! A small spark of anger flared but then fizzled out and she sat back as the numbness again took hold. Staring blankly out the window she sipped her cooling coffee.

* * *

He stared out the window of the decrepit apartment block in the rather seedy part of San Francisco. He’d been watching news broadcasts regarding the losses in the Dominion war and conspiracy theories surrounding troop movements along the Romulan border. In the background he could hear a bottle breaking, tinny music and what sounded like a cat fight but could have been any sort of interaction involving the down and out alien residents of the ‘Risan Vue Hotel’.

He’d been laying low for months now, without word from any of his old crew. After Voyager’s return he quickly and quietly escorted Seven to her Aunt’s home in Norway, wanting to see her settled and out of the lime light. His short and awkward romance with the former drone had ended almost before it had begun. What had seemed like love had quickly muted into a fine friendship and an almost paternal affection on his behalf. Seven had seemed relieved when Chakotay had spoken to her about ending their relationship. In her words she felt that a deep relationship with someone more than twice her age was perhaps not in the best interest of either of them. Ouch! He did, however feel protective enough to ensure her safe passage to her Aunt’s home. He put the whole debacle down to a mild mid-life crisis and loneliness, but it still made him cringe inwardly at how foolish he must have looked panting after the beautiful drone barely out of her teens. He shuddered. No fool like an old fool.

Before he left he’d also warned his Maquis crew that it was probably wise for them to keep a low profile where Starfleet was concerned. On arrival, the Maquis were bundled off the ship and told to make themselves scarce. The Starfleet crew were taken immediately to headquarters where they were debriefed and then released, but even their futures were still uncertain. Back-pay was being withheld and no information regarding reassignment was forthcoming. Tom and B’Elanna had left earth with Miral and settled outside Federation Space. Tom’s reunion with his father was unpleasant to say the least. The hoped for reconciliation was not to be, but thankfully Tom’s maturity and the strength of his relationship with B’Elanna allowed him to walk away with dignity and not to let his father’s ranting affect him. He hoped they were safe and happy.

After his return from Norway he’d headed straight to San Francisco to see Kathryn but had been unable to find her. Several days later he received a frantic call from Irene Hansen, Annika had gone. A perfunctory note left by her said that she could not see herself ever being settled on earth and had taken passage on a deep space freighter in an attempt to find Axim, her friend from Unimatrix Zero.

Chakotay could see her point; if it wasn’t for Kathryn he would happily leave earth and never return. The Delta Quadrant was looking pretty good from where he was standing.

He assumed Kathryn was with her family, doing what most of the crew were doing, trying to reconnect with their old lives and hiding from the press. He figured he would give her a couple more days and if he still hadn’t heard anything, he would contact her family. They couldn’t be too hard to track down. He just didn’t want his inquiries to draw attention to himself, but he needed to see her badly. If only he’d had a chance to speak to Kathryn properly before he had left, but Seven was desperate to leave before the press descended. The shattered look in Kathryn’s eyes as he and Seven left the bridge that last day, still haunted him. He hadn’t told her of his abortive romance with Seven, but now that he thought about it, she must have known. The look on her face spoke volumes. Damn, where the hell was she? He needed to see her to straighten things out. Now that they were ‘home’ maybe there was a chance for them, if he hadn’t blown it completely. Sighing he sat and stared at the stars.

* * *

Kathryn finished yet another cup of coffee. Her hand dropped over the arm of her chair and she let the cup swing from her finger as she sat in the dark looking at the stars out her window. The familiar constellations should give her a sense of peace, but all they did was taunt her with memories of times shared and opportunities missed. Her musings were interrupted by a knock at her door.

That would be her evening meal being delivered by some surly security guard. Initially she’d attempted to converse with them but they refused to respond and eventually she’d given up. Dragging herself out of her chair, she increased the lighting and answered her door. Sure enough there was a stone faced guard holding a metal tray with some unappetizing stew and vegetables congealing in the centre. Leola root had its appeal when faced with this horror meal. She took the tray, and didn’t bother thanking the guard. If they couldn’t be polite, why the hell should she. Kathryn made her way back to her chair dumping the tray and food in the recycler on the way past. Grabbing another cup of coffee she sat and stared at the stars.

* * *

Looking out his window down at the back alley, Chakotay watched an unidentifiable piece of rubbish roll down the alley like tumbleweed in one of Tom’s old TV westerns. He was overwhelmed by a wave of nostalgia. They thought that home was here on earth. How wrong they’d been. They’d spent so much time looking towards the Alpha Quadrant that they had missed much of the wonder of just being together and being ‘home’ on Voyager. Ah, the beauty of hindsight. Admiral Janeway had returned to their time to save them, but instead had condemned them. She wasn’t to know that the paranoid and vindictive Starfleet that they’d returned to had mellowed by the time of her return sixteen years in the future. Maybe it isn’t possible to redeem the past. He looked out the window and hoped that he was wrong. Redemption was high on his list of things to do. “Where are you Kathryn?” he sighed.

A knock at his door startled him out of his reverie. Chakotay swung around, instantly alert. Grabbing a small phaser like device he’d bought illegally from one of the local criminals, he headed to the door.

“Who is it?” He stood to the side of the door.

“Chakotay? It’s Ayala. Let me in chief. I have to talk to you. It’s important”

Chakotay opened the door a crack to ensure it was Ayala, then opened it wide and welcomed his long time friend and comrade with a hug and slap on the back.

“Mike! Spirits it’s good to see you. What are you doing here? I thought you and most of the Maquis were off world.” Chakotay directed him to the living area and offered him a drink.

“Water would be great” Mike answered. “Most of us are still around. Just lying low like you suggested. Tonight I’ve been walking around for hours looking for you and making sure I wasn’t followed.”

Chakotay handed him a glass from the replicator, then sat down opposite.

“Thanks” said Mike, drinking the whole glass in one go. “I’ve been trying to find you for a couple of weeks now. You’re a hard man to track down. I finally contacted Ken Dalby and he gave me a few ideas of where you might be.” He stopped talking and had a look around the spartan room. He took a deep breath and with a frown turned towards Chakotay. “Look, I came to talk to you about the captain. I don’t know how much you know about what’s happening with her, or whether you want to know?” He looked at Chakotay questioningly.

It appeared, thought Chakotay, that everyone was aware of his affair with Seven. He gestured impatiently for him to continue.

“Thought so” said Mike with a knowing smile. “An old friend of mine works as a civilian court assistant at Starfleet Headquarters and contacted me a few weeks ago. She thought I might be interested in what was going on with Captain Janeway.” Chakotay sat forward in his seat, very interested. Mike put his glass down on the small table in front of his chair and continued.

“I thought, like most of the crew, that she’d left town and gone to rest and recuperate with her family, but according to my friend she’s still being held and questioned at Headquarters. It seems there is some sort of plan to hold her indefinitely on trumped up charges involving the Prime Directive and the Caretaker. There are several highly placed admirals who have a vendetta against the Janeways.” Chakotay shifted uneasily in his seat and frowned. Mike shrugged his shoulders. “It has something to do with the captain’s father from years ago.”

Mike got up and helped himself to another glass of water after pointing to the replicator and getting a nod from Chakotay. He continued with his story. “I decided to do a bit of investigating on my own, and called in a few favours from old Starfleet buddies”

Sitting down again, he looked at Chakotay and took a deep breath. “Apparently, her father was a bit of a maverick and had been vehemently against Federation involvement with the Cardassians. This is going back twenty years or so. He actively campaigned against any sort of treaty with them. You know the captain was the sole survivor of a shuttle crash that killed her father and fiancé?”

Chakotay nodded. She’d told him one night early in their travels. It had been the anniversary of their deaths, and she was feeling particularly homesick. She’d been dealt some grievous blows over the years.

Chakotay focused again on Mike. “According to some of the documentation I saw, it was implied that the crash wasn’t an accident. The shuttle was fitted with some sort of prototype cloaking device that was to be used against the Cardassians should a conflict arise. There were quite a few powerful people within the Federation who were going to benefit substantially from the treaty. Mining rights on some of the small Cardassian moons were worth millions of credits and the Cardassians would have gained enormous advantage with the exchange of technology. So it was imperative that Admiral Janeway be kept quiet. The ‘debriefing’ that the captain is involved with at the moment is really to find out if she knows anything about the people involved. Most of them are in very lofty positions with a lot to lose if the truth was to be revealed. The public outcry would be enormous considering the loss of life from the Dominion conflict and the part the Cardassians played in that. The only reason the Maquis have not been pursued is that we were proved right about the Cardassians and subsequently our actions have been vindicated and to pursue us might risk bringing this information to light.”

Chakotay was stunned by these revelations. “Mike, do you know where she is? Where she is being held?” He bolted out of his chair and started pacing. “We have to get her out of there before they take her somewhere we can’t find her.” He turned and looked at Mike. “Does her family know?”

Mike shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t think so. I imagine if they did they’d be making a noise about getting her released. They’ve probably been given the same story as the press, and being ‘Fleeters’,” he paused and shrugged “you know, Starfleet can be pretty convincing when it wants to be. I downloaded all the information I found. I figured it might be useful if we need some bargaining power somewhere down the line.”

“Well done Mike. It might come in very useful.” Chakotay headed towards his comm unit desperate now to do something. His first thought was to contact Kathryn’s mother and find out if she knew anything.

Ayala got to his feet and put a restraining hand on Chakotay’s arm. “Slow down chief. We don’t know if the comm lines are secure and we certainly don’t want Starfleet getting wind of your whereabouts or our enquiries about the captain. I think a discreet Maquis type operation is the order of the day.”

“You’re right. If we’re going to get her away from Starfleet this will have to be planned very carefully. How many of the old Maquis crew are here on earth? We’ll have to find some way of contacting them without alerting Starfleet Security.” Chakotay’s mind was off and running. He had a purpose now. Kathryn was in danger and he had no greater purpose than to ensure her safety. He’d once sworn to stay by her side. He’d forgotten that briefly but now the angry warrior was back. Ayala watched Chakotay pace back and forth across his apartment and smiled. This was the powerful maquis captain he remembered from the early days. Everything would be alright. They would save Kathryn; and themselves in the process.

Chakotay looked at his old friend and said “I think I have an idea, but we’ll need as many of the old crew as we can find. Do you think they’ll be willing to take the risk?”

Mike smiled at his old captain. “They would die for her you know. She saved us all. Not just our lives, but gave us a chance to redeem ourselves as well. We’re all better people for having served with her. I know of at least fifteen of the old crew that I could get together by tonight and I’m sure the ‘fleet’ crew would want to be involved. I know their loyalty is to the captain before Starfleet. We could certainly do with the help. I’ve spoken to a few, like Harry, and none are too happy with Alpha Quadrant life. I’ll work on contacting them. We should find somewhere inconspicuous to meet.”

“There’s a pretty seedy bar two blocks from here that’s used by some of my less salubrious neighbours” said Chakotay. “The local security force tends to ignore its existence. I’ll give you the address. If we plan to meet there tonight at 2200, does that give you enough time?”

Mike nodded as Chakotay handed him a slip of paper. “That should give me plenty of time to get the word out. I’ll get going now and I’ll see you there later.”

Chakotay grinned. “Hey Mike, thank you. I made some foolish mistakes in the last few months of our journey and if we succeed, hopefully I’ll be able to correct them.”

Mike gripped his friend’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze. “We’ll get her out of there and away from this planet and start somewhere afresh. We’ll do it. Think of all the tight scrapes we managed to get ourselves out of on Voyager. This is no different. Together we’re unbeatable.”

* * *

Later that night in the back room of Jaffo’s Bar and Grill sat twenty-two Voyager ex-maquis and ‘fleet’ crew, each with a drink in hand and determination written all over their faces. The plan wasn’t a simple one. As much as they would have liked it, Starfleet Security was not stupid. They were highly disciplined and well trained but ultimately rigid in their thinking, and this they could use against them. Kathryn had been in their custody for three months now without any challenge to her incarceration. Hopefully they wouldn’t be expecting anything to happen now. They’d be feeling pretty comfortable with their assignment, and would have downgraded security level. With any luck they wouldn’t be as vigilant. The most difficult part of the plan was to find a ship to get off planet and out of Federation Space quickly. There had already been some debate about where to procure a ship large enough to carry the crew and families. Voyager, of course, would be perfect. It was familiar and was also equipped with technology that Starfleet would have no means of combating. The ablative shielding and transphasic torpedoes could enable them to escape easily. The argument kept going in circles and finishing up at Voyager. She was still in spacedock in lock down. Starfleet had made no attempt to dismantle the new technology. They were waiting until their engineers and scientists had analysed it while it was still integrated into the systems.

If they could get a few people on board they could use the transporters to beam up the rest of the crew, grab Kathryn, hightail it out of earths orbit, then warp out of range before Starfleet had figured out what had happened. Many of the Maquis had discreetly contacted their Starfleet shipmates to gauge their reaction about heading back into space again. All responses so far had been positive. Those with families wanted to take them with them, but as many had found on their return, a lot of partners and spouses had moved on and were in new relationships leaving the Voyager returnees with no place to go and no real home.

A plan was put into action. Everyone present was assigned names of crewmates and asked to discreetly inform them of the plan to leave earth again and return to the Delta Quadrant. They would somehow have to find a way to get them all on board under Starfleet’s nose.

Chakotay looked around at the faces of his friends and comrades.

“This is going to be difficult and dangerous.”

Harry sat forward and spoke. “Commander, I think I speak for all of us here. We don’t care what the risks are. We have to get our captain. She’d never abandon us and I certainly can’t think of abandoning her now. We have to do this.” Harry looked around the table at the faces of his crewmates, people he honestly felt closer to than his own family, and knew without a doubt that they would succeed. He looked to Chakotay again. “Commander…”

“Harry, call me Chakotay. I’m not a commander any more” he interrupted, smiling at the earnest looking Ensign.

“OK, Chakotay. Thanks.” Harry took a deep breath “I think I may have a way to get on board Voyager and once there be able to beam people on board without being detected. Being a lowly ensign and Starfleet’s ‘golden boy’ I may be able to convince the space dock commander to allow me on board to collect some personal items. I can then set up the remote transport system on the Delta Flyer. I can beam myself up from my home later that night. And if I can get to sickbay, I’ll be able to enlist the Doctor’s help. If we reconfigure the sensors in the transporter system, we should be able to beam people up to the ship in twos and threes without triggering any security systems and alerting Starfleet.” Harry looked at Chakotay for approval. “I think it would work.”

Chakotay grinned broadly and laughed. “Starfleet’s golden boy, Ha! Harry, well done. I think that could work. You name the team who you’ll need to ready Voyager and we’ll get them organised. Now next problem. How do we let Kathryn know what’s going on. Any suggestions?”

Arris Jor raised her hand slightly and Chakotay nodded for her to speak. “I was thinking. The captain’s debriefings are being held at Starfleet Headquarters. Is that right?” She looked to Mike Ayala for confirmation. He nodded yes. “I thought, maybe, if each day one of us turned up at Headquarters and hung around in the foyer, we could try and catch her eye. I know we won’t be allowed to get close, or to speak with her, but she must be escorted through some of the public areas to get to the debriefing rooms. If she sees us, she’ll know that we’re aware of where she is and maybe she’ll be looking for other signs. It will have to be a different person each day because security cameras record all the comings and goings and if the same faces keep turning up it might alert someone. Baytart and I can draw up a roster.”

Harry interrupted. “We won’t be able to beam her directly out of headquarters, you know. All the buildings have built-in shielding that our transporters won’t be able to penetrate. We’ll have to get her outside somehow.”

Chakotay nodded. “Good point, Harry. We might have to create some sort of diversion. I’ll think about it. Arris, your idea is great. If you and Pablo can get a list together and let everyone know, we can start tomorrow.”

Pablo Baytart spoke up. “Chief, maybe we could get some idea of the lay of the land when we go to headquarters. Each of us will make a note of her movements each day. With any luck our captain hasn’t changed her ways too much and she’ll have a routine that we can use to our advantage. We’ll have to find some way of communicating with her. It’ll have to be something simple that she’ll recognise.” He looked at Chakotay and raised an eyebrow in a good imitation of Tuvok.

Chakotay frowned. “I’ll try and think of something, but in the meantime let’s get moving on making contact with Kathryn and getting Voyager organised.”

Everyone around the table nodded. Chakotay felt a huge wave of affection for this rag tag group of people who were now united in their goal to save their beloved captain. He thought again about how lucky they were to have each other, and how much they would have missed had they not been thrown together in the Delta Quadrant.

“We’ll meet back here in two days. We’ll look over any information we have and make further plans from there. Goodnight all. You’d better leave in small groups. We can’t be too careful. Take care and see you all on Wednesday.”

* * *

Many of the crew stood in small groups and chatted, eager to catch up on news of each others lives that they’d missed over the last couple of months. It was a joy just being in each others company again. Every so often a few would leave, until only Mike, Harry and Chakotay remained.

Chakotay put his arm around Harry’s shoulder. “Are you sure about this, Harry? You were always so keen to get home. You know once we leave there’s no going back. You probably have the chance of a good career in Starfleet if you stay. I don’t want you to risk that if you’re not totally sure.”

Harry turned and looked Chakotay in the eye. “I’m absolutely certain about this. I’ve no doubts whatsoever. Here I’m just another lowly ensign as far as Starfleet command is concerned, another cog in the wheel. What I experienced in the Delta Quadrant I could never equal here and honestly, I don’t want to belong to an institution that would treat one of their own the way that they’re treating the captain. As Tom would say ‘it’s a no brainer’.”

“You’re a fine man, Harry. I’m proud to call you my friend.” Chakotay clapped him on the back. Harry smiled back and waved as he walked out into the night.

* * *

Chakotay and Mike walked in silence back to Chakotay’s room, each of them deep in thought. Once inside they organised some food and after dinner Chakotay found a couple of blankets for Mike to use as bedding on the old couch. It wasn’t the most comfortable bed but he had slept on worse.

“Night Chief, sleep well. Just think in a couple of week’s time, we’ll be well on the way to our new home, wherever that may be.” Mike turned himself over and punched his pillow a few times until he had beaten it into submission. Thirty seconds later he was asleep.

Chakotay lay in his bed looking up at the ceiling, worrying about Kathryn and trying to figure out a way to get word to her about their plans. What would get her attention that she would know is from him but wouldn’t alert anyone else? This was going to take some work. As he drifted off to sleep he pictured her face and sent a silent message of love.

* * *

Kathryn opened her eyes and blinked away sleep. Another day like yesterday and the day before and the day before that. She didn’t know how much more of this she could take. She climbed out of bed and headed for the bathroom. Her escort would be here soon. A quick sonic shower, clean teeth, uniform on and a cup of coffee and she was ready for her day. A knock on her door, she sighed and headed out with the security guards flanking her.

Down in the lift, across the walkover, down the stairs, thirty five steps in the sunshine and then into the foyer of the main Starfleet building that housed the debriefing rooms. Each day the same as the one before, it was enough to send a person stark raving mad. She kept her head down as she walked through the throng of people in the foyer. Most of them were too busy to pay attention to the small female captain making her way to the lifts.

Suddenly Kathryn got the distinct feeling of being watched. She raised her head and looked around carefully. She scanned the crowd. Her eyes slid past and then back again. There, a familiar face over by the indoor palm, Arris Jor. Their eyes locked. Arris gave a slight nod of recognition and a smile played at the corners of her mouth. Kathryn was so shocked she almost stopped in her tracks. Fortunately she had the presence of mind to keep walking and not draw attention to herself or Arris. She took a couple of deep breaths, gave Arris a slight nod in return but as she arrived at the lifts she had to break eye contact.

Her heart was thudding loud enough that she thought the guards would hear. The lift arrived and Kathryn was whisked upstairs to the all familiar debriefing room and the grim faces of her interrogators. Today, though, she felt a tiny flame of hope kindle deep within her. Someone knew she was here. She wasn’t completely forgotten.

* * *

Kathryn answered the questions from the panel as she’d done every day, trying hard to keep her mind on what was being said, but all she could think of was Arris Jor and that maybe other people knew she was there. The adjournment for lunch came and she was herded out the door and back downstairs. Sandwiches and coffee from the replicator were given to her and she was allowed to sit in the small garden off the main atrium. Apart from her walk across the campus each morning and afternoon, this was the only time she spent out of doors, and she relished this time, breathing deeply the fragrances of the flowers in the small garden, and closing her eyes and letting the sun bathe her face. She was intimately familiar with this small oasis of green. She’d sat here everyday for lunch for the past three months. Twenty minutes later her break was over and she was hustled back to the debriefing rooms to continue her inquisition.

That evening as she sat in her chair looking out her window she sent a silent message to Chakotay, with the hope that if Jor knew now where she was, that she would tell someone else and perhaps news of her predicament would get back to Chakotay. Even if he didn’t love her any more, she was sure he cared enough that he would want to help.

* * *

Her morning ritual was the same the next day, but once she arrived at Headquarters she looked around again, scanning the crowd and then, bang, again, a familiar face. This time it was Pablo Baytart. Her eyes locked with his, he nodded, smiled and kept his eyes locked with hers until she passed into the lift foyer. Something was going on. She decided to keep alert and watch for anything out of the ordinary. Any subtle change in her surroundings could mean something. That little flame of hope was starting to burn a little brighter. She had to try and keep her enthusiasm in check or someone would notice. Paranoia where Starfleet was concerned was not unwarranted. She smiled to herself. Things were looking up.

* * *

That night in Jaffo’s Bar and Grill a meeting of the Voyager crew was under way. Jor and Baytart reported that they had made contact with their captain. They didn’t mention to Chakotay how unwell she looked. They were both worried about her weight loss and pallor, but with any luck she would be out of there soon. With Chakotay monitoring her eating and coffee intake again, things would be back to normal in no time. The interesting piece of information was that she had eaten lunch both days in a small garden off the atrium. Public access was not restricted so there might be someway of leaving a message for her in there. Also this would be the perfect place to beam her from. The security escort tended to leave her there and have their lunch elsewhere. As Arris and Pablo were explaining her movements, Chakotay suddenly thought of a way to let Kathryn know of their rescue attempt. He would make it tonight and give it to Mike. He was next on the roster to contact Kathryn.

The meeting broke up and people drifted away in twos and threes. They were to meet again in two nights. By that time Harry’s part of the plan should be well under way. Most of the crew had been contacted. Tom and B’Elanna and Miral were heading back to Earth to be here for the beam out. No-one had been able to find Seven, but Chakotay figured she was probably heading in the same direction and you never know, they might just meet up with her out there. It could be an amazingly small universe sometimes. Tuvok had declined. He was content in his retirement and surrounded by his family. There were several other crewmembers who didn’t want to leave Earth for varying reasons, but they had sworn not to reveal anything to the authorities about Voyager’s destination.

In the end it looked like Voyager, in its new incarnation, would have a compliment of 208, crew and families. He felt somewhat like the pioneers of old. Here they were heading off into the relative unknown with only their wits, courage and thankfully a couple of really big guns. It was certainly going to be an adventure.

Chakotay hurried home with Mike. Once inside he rummaged through one of his boxes to find his carving tools and his medicine bundle. He undid his bundle and took out the patterned river stone. Turning it over, he began carving. It took him a couple of hours to finish. He then sat back and studied his handiwork and gave it a quick polish. With a smile of satisfaction he scanned the stone with a tricorder, saving the information to download into the computer once they were on Voyager.

* * *

Kathryn woke the following morning almost looking forward to her day of debriefings. As she walked the thirty-five steps to the door of Headquarters, she wondered who she might see today. She again scanned the crowd and soon locked eyes with Mike Ayala. He was standing close to the doorway to her garden. He looked towards the garden and then back at her and smiled. With a blink, Kathryn expressed her understanding then broke contact as she disappeared into the lift foyer. Seeing Ayala had been a jolt. He was one of Chakotay’s closest friends and her heart pounded with the thought that perhaps Chakotay was nearby. Knowing there was something in the garden, she found it very difficult to concentrate during the morning session. Lunch finally arrived, and she and her sandwiches and coffee were escorted to the garden. She sat in her usual spot and nibbled on her food trying not to appear impatient. Her guards seemed to take forever to leave. When she was sure no-one was watching her she began to look in earnest. She hunted through the flowers and shrubs and then there it was, in amongst the pebbles in the garden bed. She would recognise it anywhere, a grey river stone with a carved pattern on one side. She picked it up and turned it over. As she took in what was carved on the other side of the stone, a silent sob was wrenched from her and she sat back on the bench with a thud. Squeezing her eyes shut, tears trickled down her face. She gently caressed the words so delicately etched into the stone. “Soon. I love you. C.” She held the stone tightly in her hand and clutched it to her chest. It was her lifeline. He was coming for her, and he loved her. Kathryn felt like laughing out loud but realized she’d best get herself under control. Her lunch break was nearly over.

She quickly wiped her face and finished her coffee. Putting the precious stone in the pocket of her uniform she waited for her guards to return. As she walked towards the debriefing room she could feel the reassuring weight of the stone against her thigh. Hope was burning like an inferno in her chest. All she could think was ‘please don’t let anything happen before I can see him again’. She’d been disappointed so many times in the past that it was difficult not to expect something to go wrong.

* * *

Harry had contacted Chakotay to say that all was ready on board Voyager. Most of the crew and their families had beamed up. Harry had been able to mask the transport signals using Borg encryption codes and by beaming people up in small groups from varying locations, had managed to avoid detection. B’Elanna and Susan Nicoletti had decrypted the lockdown sequence, so when the time came to leave all that was needed was to remove the docking clamps. Once Voyager was moving at impulse, the warp core could be brought on-line ready for their get away.

It was decided that Saturday lunch time would be the best time to grab Kathryn. Being the weekend there would be less security on campus, also there would be fewer people milling around headquarters making it easier to isolate her bio-signature. It would take more time to get Admirals and council members together to strategise if they were at home for the weekend. Starfleet being the bureaucracy that it was, worked in Voyager’s favour. No course of action was taken without it being rubber stamped by some committee or other. This would buy them precious time.

* * *

Kathryn climbed out of bed ready to face the day. She donned her uniform and fondled the stone in her pocket. Yesterday it was Ken Dalby who was waiting for her in the atrium. It was the same as it had been with the others, eyes meeting and a nod and smile. It was so good to see familiar faces. She marched off with her guards with a spring in her step.

Her demeanour was so much improved that she’d even eaten a little breakfast that morning. She had to pay attention. There was some plan afoot, but she had no idea what it was or when it would happen, so she’d decided the best course of action was to stay alert, act as normally as possible and keep to her routine. This was all she could do until her crew showed their hand.

* * *

In the meantime Chakotay had decided to contact Kathryn’s mother and sister. They had no idea what Kathryn had been enduring since her homecoming. Their family friend, Admiral Owen Paris, had been keeping them posted with vague mentions of counselling sessions and technical debriefs, but there’d been no word of when she would be released. Chakotay took a chance and told them of the plans to rescue Kathryn. He wanted to know if they wished to come with them on their journey.

Gretchen was sorely tempted, but in the end declined. “I’m much too old to venture so far from Earth and my life is here on the farm where Edward and I lived and raised the girls. I’ll miss my baby but I know she’s alive and dare I say loved.” She looked questioningly at Chakotay.

Chakotay smiled and nodded. “Yes, loved very much.”

Gretchen smiled knowingly. “She’ll have a good life with you, Chakotay. Tell her that she has my blessing, that I love her and that she’ll always be in my heart. Tell her, her father would have been so proud of her.” He held the older woman as she cried over the loss of her daughter a second time.

Phoebe also declined. She was now married to a young artist and lived much of her life off world, so leaving the Alpha Quadrant was not an option. Chakotay took the opportunity at one point when Gretchen was in the kitchen to give Phoebe a copy of the conspiracy information regarding her father’s death, explaining that it was a kind of insurance and once she read it she could do with it what she felt was the right thing. Phoebe promised to look at it carefully and decide whether it was in their interest to open this particular can of worms. Chakotay told her that some very powerful people were involved and if it looked like they were in any danger it might be the bargaining chip they needed.

Gretchen and Phoebe dearly wanted to see Kathryn but realized her safety was more important. They recorded a message for her and made Chakotay promise to take care of her. He assured them that he would. Many tears were shed that evening and Chakotay left Kathryn’s childhood home with the precious recordings and a heavy heart.

* * *

Saturday morning saw all of the crew on board Voyager working like a well oiled machine, readying her for deep space. They’d managed to procure some resources but in the back of their minds they were always aware of the risk of discovery. Besides they were old hands at scavenging along the way.

* * *

At Starfleet headquarters the morning session was over and Kathryn sipped her coffee as she sat quietly on her garden bench. In her other hand she held her river stone, her thumb tracing the words carved into the rock. Susan Nicoletti had been waiting for her in the foyer this morning. She had smiled and nodded and then pulled her ear. Kathryn interpreted the signal as meaning what ever was going to happen would happen today. Her stomach had been churning all morning and she could barely keep still, but she didn’t want to do anything differently, so she sat in her usual spot and sipped her coffee.

* * *

On Voyager all was ready. Chakotay stood on the command deck and gave the order to remove the docking clamps. Tom brought the impulse engines on line and in a matter of seconds, Voyager was out of space dock and swooping towards San Francisco to collect its precious cargo. Chakotay left the bridge to Tom with instructions that as soon as transport was complete, they were to head out of the solar system, jump to warp and head back towards the Delta Quadrant.

He made his way to the transporter room where B’Elanna was manning the console. Chakotay had downloaded the information he scanned from the stone and B’Elanna had locked on to it. From there she’d been able to isolate the captain’s bio signature. He turned to B’Elanna and gave her a nod. He was holding his breath as her familiar form began to coalesce on the transporter pad.

Back on earth, Kathryn’s lunch break was about to end. She stood with her coffee cup in her hand when she felt the familiar tingle of the transporter beam.

In the transporter room he watched as the beam solidified into the familiar form of Kathryn Janeway.

He stood rooted to the deck plating, staring at her. There she was, at last, and holding a goddamned cup of coffee. If he’d had the breath to do it, he would have laughed at the sight of her standing there large as life, with a coffee in her hand, quintessential Kathryn. Both stood like statues, barely breathing, staring at each other for a full minute until suddenly Kathryn’s face crumpled. She took a great gulp of air and her legs just went from under her, her coffee cup dropping to the floor. Her movement jolted Chakotay into action. He leapt up onto the platform and pulled her against him, wrapping his arms around her before she could fall. He was crooning softly as Kathryn took great gulping breaths which were somewhere between sobs and laughter. Tears were streaming down both their faces. He had his face buried in her hair, inhaling her scent, revelling in the joy of having her at last in his arms. Peripherally he felt the ships slight shudder as it went to warp. He pulled away from Kathryn slightly and cupped his hands around her face. She was still holding on tight to him and had no intention of letting go. B’Elanna slipped quietly out the door. He wiped her tears away with his thumbs and gently kissed her forehead.

“Welcome home, Kathryn.’ She let out a strangled wail and held onto him so tightly, it made it difficult to breathe. All the loneliness and despair of the last three months came surging to the surface. She was almost incoherent, saying his name over and over again.

“I thought you’d left me. Oh God, Chakotay. You came for me. You didn’t forget and you came for me.” She was sobbing uncontrollably, and he continued his soothing as he lifted her into his arms and called for the computer to transport them to her quarters. Her dimly lit room appeared around them and he carried her to the couch. He lay her down gently and went to the replicator to get a brandy and glass of water. She grabbed at him as he went to stand up. “It’s alright Kathryn; I’m not going anywhere sweetheart. You’re safe.” She fought to get her breathing under control and sat up slowly as he returned with the drinks. Taking a small sip of the brandy she gave him a shaky smile. He noticed something clutched tightly in her fist and reached over and gently opened her hand. In her palm lay the river stone. They both stared at it for a moment and then raised their eyes to one another. Chakotay gently caressed her cheek with the back of his fingers. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Not wanting to break the mood but feeling he had to say something, Chakotay tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

“Kathryn, about Seven….I’m so sorry, I don’t….” Kathryn placed her fingers over his lips to stop him speaking.

“It’s alright, Chakotay. Please don’t say anymore. It’s over, isn’t it?” He nodded his head, unable to speak. His inability to speak had to do with the fact that Kathryn was now caressing his lips with her fingertips and her gaze had dropped to watch her actions. Her fingers traced the bow of his top lip and then followed the curve of his bottom lip. His heart was hammering in his chest as her hand slid around the back of his head and began to draw his mouth closer to hers. Just as their lips were about to meet they were jolted back to reality by a chirp from Chakotay’s comm. badge and Harry’s voice. “Bridge to Chakotay.”

Chakotay grimaced at Kathryn and tapped his badge. “Chakotay here, Harry. What can I do for you?”

“Just wanting to make sure our ‘cargo’ has arrived safe and sound, and to inform you that we are out of Earth’s solar system and en route to the Federation Border at warp seven.” You could hear the grin in Harry’s voice.

“Are you referring to your former captain as mere cargo, Ensign?” came a familiar voice.

“Not at all, Captain. Just extremely glad to have you home. Welcome back Ma’am, and I think this qualifies as crunch time.”

Kathryn chuckled. “I think you may be right, Harry. And thank you. I can’t tell you how good it is to be back”

“We should be out of Federation space in fourteen hours, and so far there are no vessels on long range sensors. We seem to have made a clean getaway.” Harry announced proudly.

“You appear to have taken to this life of crime like a fish to water, Mr Kim” Kathryn joked.

“I learned from the best, Ma’am. By the way, Chell is planning a ‘Back to the DQ Party’ in the mess hall once we’ve cleared Federation Space. I know the crew would love to see you there, Captain. 1200 hours tomorrow.”

“That sounds wonderful. I can’t wait to see you all.” She started tracing the lines of Chakotay’s tattoo with her right hand. “But at the moment I have a bit of catching up to do. I’ll see you later, Harry.”

“I’ll look forward to it, Captain. Bridge out”

“Chakotay, now that we’re all renegades, hightailing it out of Federation space in a stolen Starship, I don’t think protocols or parameters really apply anymore. Don’t you agree?” She was now trailing her finger along the side of his jaw, down his neck to the collar of his shirt.

He was mesmerised, and totally besotted by this woman. How could he have ever contemplated moving on or loving anyone else. She started to unbutton his shirt then looked up into his eyes. Sounding slightly breathless, she quirked her brow. “Well, Chakotay, what do you say? Shall we pound those protocols into mmmph…?”

His lips were on hers. Hearing the word ‘pound’ come from those lips of hers was too much. It brought to mind a picture of their naked bodies writhing together with her underneath him as he pounded into her. His kiss was demanding, almost punishing and she loved every minute of it. She responded in kind and plunged her tongue into his mouth and tasted him for the first time. Their tongues duelled and tasted and eventually they broke apart with a gasp. Both were stroking and caressing each others bodies, a desperation borne of need and a deep abiding love.

Their joining was all they had imagined. It was joyful, rapturous, intense, loving and the ultimate culmination of a love affair that had begun seven years before.

* * *

The following morning found the command team of the renegade ship Voyager lying in each others arms sated and content after another round of early morning lovemaking.

Chakotay had lain awake last night after Kathryn had fallen asleep and watched her dream. He hadn’t missed the fact that she was many kilos lighter than when he last saw her. Her hollowed cheeks and prominent ribs clear evidence that she’d not been taking care of herself. It was something that he was going to remedy, starting this morning.

“I think we’ve time for breakfast in the mess hall if we hurry.” Chakotay gave Kathryn a quick kiss and rolled out of bed. She sat up and grabbed for his hand.

“Chakotay, thank you for coming for me; for rescuing me and I don’t just mean from Starfleet. I know it’s too late to apologise but I’m sorry I kept you at a distance all those years in the Delta Quadrant. My only excuse was that I didn’t know any other way to command, and keep my promise to the crew. You’re very distracting, you know.” He smiled at her. She groaned and held up her hand in front of her face. “Power those down, Chakotay. It’s too early in the day for dimples and I haven’t had coffee yet.”

Chakotay laughed loudly, picked her up and carried her into the bathroom. He deposited her in the shower cubicle and turned on the water. “Hurry up. I need a shower too. As incentive I’ll have your coffee waiting for you when you finish.”

She showered quickly and emerged a few minutes later wrapped in a towel and drying her hair with another. “Your turn, and where’s my coffee?”

Chakotay handed her a cup as he passed. “Here you go, bossy boots.”

“That’s Captain Bossy Boots to you, my friend.” She took a long sip of the bitter brew, closed her eyes and savoured the taste. “Mmmm perfect.”

She put her cup down and contemplated what to wear. She looked at her Starfleet uniform lying on the floor. Her emotions were mixed. Anger finally won out over sadness and she grabbed the offending garment off the floor and threw it in the recycler. Her underwear was still in her cupboards and she donned those then found a pair of black pants and a blue tunic top to wear. It was serviceable and not unattractive and besides, he liked her in blue.

What the crew was to wear was another item for the agenda to be dealt with over the next few days. Five more hours and they would be out of Federation jurisdiction and home free. Home. She was home. She’d been home all along and just hadn’t realised it.

Chakotay emerged from the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his hips, still slightly damp. He looked delicious, better than coffee and definitely better than breakfast. She started to prowl towards him but he backed off.

“No Kathryn, its breakfast time. You have to eat. You have a bit of catching up to do.” She scowled at him. “I’ll be ready in a minute. Finish your coffee and I’ll be right out”

* * *

They walked hand in hand into the mess hall. Many of the crew were there and as they entered someone yelled “Captain on the deck” as the whole room stood to attention in honour of their leader.

Kathryn was moved beyond belief and had great difficulty keeping control of her emotions. She looked around the room at all the familiar faces and noted some of the new ones.

“At ease, everyone, before you sprain something.” There was a rumble of laughter through the crowd. Kathryn smiled. “Thank you all, for everything. I’m so happy to be home. I’ve missed you all and I’m so glad to see you all again.” She gave them all a beaming smile and moved through the room greeting as many people as she could.

Kathryn stopped to talk to Arris Jor and thank her for the part she had played in her rescue.

“It was the least we could do, Captain. Both Pablo and I owe you so much. We really were just so pleased we could do even a little to repay you for all you’ve done for us over the years.” Kathryn gave the young woman a quick hug, overcome by the emotion of the moment.

“That means so much to me, Arris. Thank you; and thanks to Pablo as well. It seems there’s nothing we can’t accomplish as a crew. I imagine Starfleet is still reeling. I certainly hope they are. I’m so proud of you all and so grateful.” Kathryn gripped Arris’s arm in thanks and moved off into the crowd.

She’d been in the mess hall for an hour or so, chatting to various crew members and catching up with the new arrivals when a shudder rumbled through the ship.

Kathryn slapped her comm. Badge. “Janeway to the Bridge. Report.”

Harry answered in a brisk manner. “Captain, a ship has just dropped out of warp 2,000 kilometres off starboard. It’s matching our course and speed. It has a federation signature and just fired a phaser blast across our bow. I think they mean business. Their weapons are online and targeting our vital systems.”

“Shields up, Harry. I’m on my way. Chakotay, you’re with me.” Kathryn was making her way to the turbo lift as she spoke, all business now that her ship and crew was in danger.

Chakotay tapped his comm. badge. “All crew to battlestations.”

On her ride to the bridge, Kathryn wondered who Starfleet had sent after them. If she knew Starfleet they would have sent someone not easily intimidated or likely to be swayed by any argument from a disgraced former captain and her renegade crew.

Chakotay watched her out of the corner of his eye, wondering how she was feeling about a confrontation with a Starfleet vessel. It wouldn’t be easy for her. She’d been born into Starfleet and raised to uphold the highest of Starfleet standards. The prospect of having to do battle with, or potentially destroy a Starfleet vessel, must be pulling at her conscience. Chakotay had come to terms with Starfleet’s propensity for betrayal a long time ago. He had not held them in esteem for many years, but for Kathryn, this was a new experience. He would keep an eye on her and be there for her if she needed support. If need be he would make the call to save her compromising her principles.

She was deep in concentration and he could see the different plans and tactics darting through her mind. Suddenly she turned and looked at him, grabbing for his hand and giving him a wry smile. “Together, Chakotay? We’ll do this together. OK?”

“Always, my Kathryn. Always.” He kissed her quickly on the lips just as the lift arrived on the bridge.

All business again, the captain marched down to the command level, stood with her hands on her hips, turned to Harry and nodded. “Hail them Harry”

“Channel open, Captain.” All eyes were on the view screen.

A dark haired, thin faced man in captain’s garb appeared. “Good morning, Captain Janeway. Please stand down weapons, lower shields and prepare to be boarded. I have orders to take you and your crew into custody and return you to Earth to stand trial on charges of treason and conspiracy.” Kathryn stood, captain’s mask in place, studying the face in front of her, trying to see beyond the words to gauge the man before her.

“I am afraid that is impossible, Captain….?”

“Simms, Captain Edmund Simms of the Starship Wellington. I would appreciate your cooperation, Captain. I have been given orders to use whatever force is necessary. I’m willing to give you some time to organise your crew. I think this is generous considering the circumstances.” He looked at her smugly

“ ‘Circumstances?’ What circumstances might those be, Captain Simms?” She was getting angry. This supercilious pompous windbag. What did he know of her circumstances? “Would those circumstances perhaps be those of a captain who was taken and held in custody for three months without any charges being laid? The circumstances of crew who were lied to and who were told not to see each other for fear of being arrested on trumped up charges? The circumstances of families being misled and unable to see loved ones? Of being betrayed by the institution many of their friends and comrades had died for? Which circumstances are you referring to, Captain? Please enlighten me.” She was mad, boiling mad. Chakotay hoped the smug faced Captain Simms was smart enough to realise the danger of irritating Kathryn Janeway.

“Don’t try and justify your actions to me, Janeway. I am well aware of your cavalier attitude to Starfleet regulations and flouting of the Prime Directive. You’ve been away too long and consorting with criminals for the last seven years and it has obviously rubbed off on you. You, Captain, are a maverick and a danger to the Federation, and like all renegades you need to be dealt with. Severely and permanently.” The last words were spat out with a look of disgust on his face.

Kathryn spoke very quietly in almost a growl. “A maverick and renegade, you say. You have no idea.” She signalled to Harry to cut communications. The temperature on the bridge had dropped with the chill of her words.

“Ayala, red alert and bring the ablative shielding on line. Harry, how far are we from the Federation Border?” She was pacing across the bridge running a hand across the back of her neck.

The bridge glowed red and the quiet thunk, thunk could be heard as the ablative shielding laid itself in place.

“500,000 kilometres to the border, Captain. There is a class 12 nebula on our course that is high in delta radiation and plasma particles. Our shielding would protect us but the Wellington would have to go around. It might buy us a few minutes, maybe enough to get over the line before we are forced to fire on the Wellington.”

“Good work, Harry. Tom, set a course for the Nebula best speed. We’ll only be able to maintain a speed of warp 6.5 within the nebula or we’ll ignite the plasma particles.”

Chakotay stepped up behind Kathryn and spoke quietly. “We might be able to use that when we come out the other side.” She nodded at him.

He turned towards Ops. “Harry, how far away from the nebula would we have to be to avoid being caught in the explosion if we ignited those particles?” He was walking up to the ops console to look at the readouts.

Harry was busy pressing buttons and calculating. “We would have to be at least 100,000 kilometres away. 200,000 would be safer but we won’t have time. I calculate a phaser blast from 80,000 kilometres on the other side will give us enough time to stay ahead of the energy wave from the blast and be well out of Federation Territory before the Wellington has got it’s sensors on line again. The blast should overload their sensor grid and blind them for at least 5 mins.”

Kathryn snapped. “Let’s do it. Mike, on my mark. Tom, go to warp 8 as soon as the phaser blast is away. Chakotay, you monitor the Wellington. Keep and eye on its position. I don’t want any surprises.”

Tension on the bridge was high, but everyone was focused on their tasks.

“One minute until we exit the nebula. The Wellington is heading around on the port side. Mike, aim towards that side of the nebula.” Chakotay relayed information.

Kathryn stood at tactical with Ayala. “On my mark….. Fire!”

Just as the phaser blast shot from Voyager, Kathryn turned to see Chakotay start to dematerialise in a transporter beam. “Noooo” she screamed. “Harry, get him back.”

The view screen lit up as the nebula exploded between them and the Wellington.

“Harry, have you got him?” Kathryn was frantic. No-one could move. Horror was written over all their faces.

“Not again, oh God please, not again.” Kathryn was muttering as she ran to Harry’s ops console.

“I think we got…” Harry started to say

“Transporter room to the bridge”

“Bridge here. What’s your status?” Tom answered. The Captain was looking near to collapse.

“I have just beamed the Commander to sickbay. He just appeared on the platform unconscious. I have no idea where he came from.”

Kathryn was gripping the ops console so hard her knuckles were white. Harry was standing close by in case she needed support.

Ayala spoke up. “Captain, we’re outside Federation Space and the Wellington is not pursuing. It seems to be dead in space. Their life support is functional, but that’s about all. Their weapons and propulsion are off line.”

“Good. Tom, you have the bridge. Maintain warp. Get us as far away from here as possible. I’ll be in sickbay.” Kathryn muttered the last words as the door to the turbo lift closed.

“Aye Captain” Tom acknowledged but she was already gone.

* * *

Anger and fear warred with each other as she made the journey to sickbay. She was briefly tempted to head back to the Wellington and knock out their life support as well. What the hell had they been trying to do?

The turbo lift seemed to take forever. She was torn between needing to know if he was alright and the anguish of not wanting to know if he wasn’t. She practically ran all the way from the lift to sickbay, but balked outside the doors. She didn’t think she would survive if Chakotay was gone, in fact she didn’t want to survive. Taking a couple of deep breaths she swallowed her fear as she had been taught, put on her captain’s mask and entered sickbay.

He was lying on a bio bed looking very pale. The Doctor was hovering, taking scans and checking readings. He looked up and saw the captain. “Ah Captain, here to see our wounded soldier? It is good to see you by the way.”

She gave him an exasperated look. “Ah, the Commander, of course. He will be fine after a little rest. He suffered a slight cellular degradation from the incident with the transporter. It appears he rematerialised in space for a split second before he finished up back in our transporter room. If he had been left in space much longer than he was, things might have been much grimmer, but I have reversed the damage and he should be right as rain by tomorrow.”

The captain looked horrified. “He materialised in space? Would he have been aware?” Oh God, she thought, it was one of the things space farers have feared for hundreds of years, the horrible death in vacuum and the few seconds of knowing that your body is going to rip itself apart.

The Doctor looked at his captain and noted her distress. “I don’t know if he was aware. That’s something you can ask him when he wakes. Captain, by the look of you, you could do with some rest as well. Not to mention a good meal” he finished sotto voce.

She pulled up a chair and sat down beside Chakotay. Deciding to ignore the Doctor she took Chakotay’s hand in hers and waited for him to wake up.

Some time later the Doctor stepped up to the bed and took some more readings and smiled at the captain. “He’s well on the way to recovery, Captain. I suggest you go to your quarters and get a good night’s sleep. I’ll call you if there’s any change.”

“I’m staying right here, Doctor, so don’t waste your time or mine by trying to get me to leave.” She kept her eyes on Chakotay’s face, not willing to look away in case there was any change. Holding one of his hands she rested her other hand on his chest. It was reassuring to feel his chest rise and fall with each breath. She wasn’t going anywhere. There was no way she would sleep anyway. She never did when he was in sickbay, so she may as well be here. At least she was close to him and that gave her comfort, and maybe her presence gave him comfort. She hoped it did.

The Doctor moved into his office for a moment and came back with a bowl of soup, some bread and a cup of tea. “If you’re not going to be sensible about sleep, at least do me a favour and have something to eat. The Commander will not be happy if I let you starve while he’s unconscious.”

Kathryn took the food gratefully. “I don’t mean to be ungrateful. I really do appreciate what you’ve done. I promise I’ll eat this and try and get some rest. Alright Doctor?”

“See that you do, Captain. I’ll deactivate myself. If there’s any change in the commander’s condition, I’ll be automatically reactivated. Rest well and I’ll see you in the morning. Computer deactivate EMH”

“Goodnight, Doctor.” Kathryn sat back and ate her food, keeping a close eye on Chakotay. After recycling her dishes and visiting the head she stood looking down at him, gently tracing his tattoo with her fingers and smoothing his hair back from his face. “Goodnight, my love. I’ll be right here when you wake.” She brushed a kiss across his lips, took his hand, sat down and rested her head next to his on the bed and dropped off to sleep.

* * *

She woke early the next morning with her neck stiff from sleeping in an awkward position. She was covered in a light blanket. Someone had been in during the night and thoughtfully covered her. There was a slight movement from the bio bed, then a groan. She stood up and gently caressed his cheek. “Chakotay, wake up, my love. You’re going to be fine. Can you wake up? I need to see you.”

The Doctor appeared on the other side of the bio bed and picked up a tricorder and began scanning. “He’ll be slightly groggy when he wakes but I’m happy to send him to his quarters after I complete a deep scan. He may want a few sips of water.” He looked at the captain but she was so focused on his patient, she didn’t acknowledge his request.

“Perhaps I’ll get him a glass of water” the Doctor snidely remarked as he made his way to the replicator.

* * *

Chakotay fought his way to wakefulness. He could hear Kathryn’s voice urging him to open his eyes. He opened them a crack and grimaced at the bright light. Kathryn noticed. “Computer dim lights.” She caressed his cheek again. “You can open them now, Chakotay. Just take it slowly.” She looked worriedly at the Doctor. “Doctor he seems to be in pain. Can you give him something?”

“Where’s the pain, Commander?” The Doctor reappeared at his bedside putting the cup of water on the bedside table.

Chakotay opened his eyes again and groaned. “Where isn’t the pain? Ahh. My head mostly. What the hell happened? I feel like I’ve been hit by a Klingon garbage scow.”

There was a hiss from a hypospray. “That should make you feel better, Commander. It was a mild sedative and pain killer. It’ll take a few moments to work.” The Doctor addressed the worried looking captain.

She continued stroking his face and hair, so glad he was going to be alright. He smiled up at her then closed his eyes and dosed off. She sat down again and studied the hand that she held in hers, caressing his fingers and running her thumb across his knuckles. Another close call. It terrified her that one day one of them may not make it. At that moment she had an epiphany. Maybe it was time to settle down. Time to find a nice, comfortable planet where they would be left in peace, build homes, have families and live a relatively normal life, without the constant risk of death and destruction hanging over them. They were so used to living on the edge, constantly on the move, that it hadn’t occurred to them that they could just stop. Now that they were out of Federation jurisdiction, there was no reason why they had to keep running. As soon as Chakotay was up and about, she would talk to him and see what he thought.

* * *

“Good morning, Captain. How is Chakotay?” Tom walked into sickbay and up to the biobed. “I dropped by late last night with B’Elanna to see how he was. You were fast asleep. I put the blanket over you. I hope you don’t mind?”

“No, I didn’t mind. Thank you, Tom. I appreciated it.” She smiled at Tom then looked back down at Chakotay. “It looks like he’s going to be fine. He woke up little earlier with a headache but he fell asleep again after a painkiller. He’ll be able to go back to our quarters later.”

Noting the ‘our quarters’, Tom smiled. “Congratulations, Captain. May I say it’s about time? You could have warned me though so I could have had the betting pool up and running again.”

“Tom, what am I going to do with you?” Kathryn chuckled, so pleased to have this young man with them. She frowned and looked at Tom again. “Tom, you’re pretty much in tune with what goes on around here. How do you think the crew would feel about settling down somewhere? If we were to find a suitable planet well away from the Federation, do you think they would be happy to colonise a new world or maybe settle on a populated planet that was willing to take us in?” She watched his face to gauge his reaction.

“Actually, Captain, there has been some talk about doing just that. This last encounter made many people realise how tenuous our existence is, and now that we have families on board, life is a little bit more precious. Risking our own lives is one thing but our children are another. So to answer your question, Captain, I think most folks would be more than happy to settle down somewhere.” She nodded solemnly, not really surprised by his answer. She’d certainly had enough of space and the unknown. Not to mention being thoroughly sick of being shot at.

“Thanks, Tom. Once Chakotay is recovered, I think we should organise a crew meeting to discuss options. The days where I make unilateral decisions for everyone are over. A decision like this has to be put to a vote.”

Tom chuckled. “Voyager a democracy? Stranger things have happened. I have to get to the bridge. Take it easy, Captain. Oh, by the way, there’s a hot pot of coffee behind you. Enjoy.”

Kathryn swung around and found a coffee pot and muffins on a tray. “Thanks, Tom. Filling Chakotay’s shoes are you, making sure I eat?”

“Surely you’re not surprised. The whole crew were in on the ‘make sure the captain eats and sleeps’ routine. You’re notorious, you know, for not looking after yourself. It was practically a full time job for Chakotay, the Doctor and Neelix with a lot of help from others as well. Didn’t you ever wonder why sandwiches and snacks magically appeared wherever you were working? I think Chakotay had the computer flag him if you didn’t use your replicator and Neelix would notify him if you were a ‘no show’ in the mess hall.”

Hearing this brought tears to her eyes. “Oh, Tom, I had no idea. I was always so caught up in busy work I never noticed.” She reminded herself again how lucky she was to have the love of this man and to be surrounded by all these wonderful people. In future she promised herself that she would take note of all the things he did for her. It was about time he was appreciated for what he’d done for her all those years. If he hadn’t been there, she wouldn’t have survived. By the sound of it, she probably would have starved to death.

Tom gave her shoulder a quick squeeze. “We all did it because we cared, you know. We still do. It was always a kind of morale booster to see how stealthy we could be. Some departments even had competitions going between them. I know the crew will be ecstatic when they know the two of you are finally together. You’re not going to keep it a secret are you?”

She smiled her crooked smile. “No, Tom. I don’t think I’d be able to anyway, and I think Chakotay’s self satisfied smirk would give the game away don’t you?”

“No doubt, Captain, no doubt. Well, I’ll see you later. The helm awaits.” Tom gave one more of his cheeky grins and was gone.

Kathryn picked up a padd from the Doctor’s office and sat down beside Chakotay again. She may as well get some work done while she waited for him to wake. She scrolled down a list of crew and their families who were on board. There were now 23 children as well as a number of civilians. They didn’t have an enormous amount of resources in storage, but they would be able to use Voyager’s replicators if they could find a planet with enough energy sources. They could land Voyager and stay on board until they had a settlement up and running. They could use shuttles and the flyer to bring in supplies and building materials. It was exciting. This challenge of starting a civilization was something she could get her teeth into. She closed her eyes and imagined her and Chakotay outside their home, the garden full of flowers, with talaxian tomatoes of course, a path to a large tree with a seat under it. Hold on a minute. Who was that? There was a child, a golden child with dark hair running towards them. Kathryn opened her eyes with a start. Where did that come from? God almighty, she was just getting her head around being in a relationship with Chakotay. Now she had them as parents. She needed a cup of coffee. Quickly. She turned to the tray behind her and poured herself a cup. She broke off a piece of the muffin as well. It tasted good. Taking a few sips of coffee, she sat down again and thought again of the child in her dream. She was beautiful, with Chakotay’s colouring, and a delightful blend of both their features. The thought made her smile.

“What are you smiling about?” Kathryn jumped and blushed.

“You’re awake. How are you feeling? How’s the head?” Standing up, she put down her cup and touched his cheek.

“Fine and fine. You still haven’t told me why you were smiling that smile. It must have been something wonderful. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that look on your face before.”

He rolled over on his side, lifted his head and rested it on his hand, looking at her intently. “Kathryn, are you going to tell me or do I have to guess?”

She sat back down and looked at him levelly, raised one eyebrow and said “Guess”

He chuckled and dropped his head back down. “Evil woman, sent to torment me. I think I may have an inkling as to what it is. It’s something that has been on my mind for many years, but we’ll talk about it later.” He was looking over her shoulder.

“Ah, Commander, I see you have decided to grace us with your presence. How are you feeling? Spending time in a vacuum without a spacesuit is not recommended, you know.” The Doctor was babbling on.

“Spirits, is that what happened? I thought I imagined that. Why on earth did he do it? Surely even a hardliner like Simms wouldn’t beam someone into space just to teach them a lesson. Spirits, that’s something I don’t want to do again.” He took a deep breath but still looked somewhat shocked.

“Thank you, Doctor.” Kathryn gave him an exasperated look.

“Sorry, Captain. Commander, I thought you already knew.” He looked at the grim face of his captain and decided that retreat was in order. “I’ll just go and process these scans. If they’re acceptable, the Commander can return to his quarters. He’s not to be left alone however.”

“I’ll keep an eye on him. Thank you, Doctor.” Kathryn watched as the Doctor slunk back to his office.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. We still don’t quite know how it happened. Harry is looking into it. It may be that the ablative shielding somehow interfered with the transporter signal. You apparently materialized just outside the ship for a millisecond before your signal was bounced back to our transporter. Fortunately Dalby was on duty in the transporter room and noticed the buffer was activated. He beamed you aboard and then straight to sickbay. We owe him a big thank you for being so diligent.” Kathryn took a deep breath and looked away. She didn’t want Chakotay to see her cry. Her emotions had been through the ringer over the last 48 hours. Add to the fact that she’d had very little sleep, tears were very close to the surface.

“Hey, none of that. I’m OK. Well, I will be when I can get out of here.” He looked around for the Doctor to get the all clear to go back to their quarters.

“Chakotay, look at me please. I very nearly lost you. A few more seconds and we wouldn’t be here talking, I’d be organizing your memorial. I don’t think I can keep doing this. I couldn’t bear to lose you.” She hiccupped trying to stop herself from breaking down.

“Kathryn, I’ll never leave you intentionally. No-one can know the future or what it has in store, but know that whatever happens, I’ll fight to stay with you till my last breath. You are my life and I know that together we’re going to live a long and happy one.” He was now sitting up on the bed and he drew her into an embrace to gently reassure her.

She mumbled something into his chest. “What did you say” He pushed her back slightly so he could look at her.

“I said ‘I love you’.” She cupped the side of his face and looked deeply into his eyes. Hers darkened with desire. She whispered to him. “Let’s go home.” Calling over her shoulder she stated, “Doctor, I am taking the Commander back to our quarters. Is he well enough to leave?” She continued to look into his eyes as she spoke and he was unable and unwilling to look away.

“Yes, Captain, he’s fine. A good night’s rest should see him back to his usual robust self by morning. Have a decent meal and sleep and I’ll see the Commander here in sickbay tomorrow morning.” He looked at his commanding officers, fairly sure that they were not paying him any mind. “Tomorrow morning early.”

“Thank you, Doctor. See you in the morning.” Chakotay slid off the bed, kissed Kathryn on the forehead and they both left sickbay with their arms wrapped around the other.

The Doctor looked on with a contented smile on his face. This was something he had waited a long time to see. It had been a long time coming, but there was something so right about the Captain and Commander being partners in life as well as command. He could think of no two people more suited to each other than Kathryn Janeway and Chakotay. All was right in the universe. He tidied up his work area humming happily to himself and then asked the computer to deactivate him. As he faded into oblivion he thought to himself how wonderful life was.

- _fin_ -


End file.
